From Bad to Worse To Great

Sometimes things just seem to fall into place after months and months of struggling. I don't know why this is, and I hesitate to question it lest things go south again fast. I have been working on the same damn piece for, literally, months. I think I know what direction it's going in, only to find that what I had in mind can't be done, looks like crap, or simply doesn't fit with the overall story I had in mind when rendering this piece. Then there is the endless time spent learning a new technique. I have been working on hand tinting some vintage photographs and let me tell you, the world of photography must have sat up and rejoiced when color photography was invented, because this is one technique that is not nearly as easy as it looks. Simple? Yes. Easy? Not so much. And time-consuming as hell. So that took time to master and make look effortless since I had never done it before with oils. I have struggled with everything on this piece from the entire background painting down to the tiniest little details.

I had finally started to feel good about it and was making some actual visible progress (look out momentum!) when all that rain that sunk the majority of the midwest last week rolled through here for an afternoon and caused a minor flood that dripped water- I kid you not- only in the ceiling directly above where this piece was laying covered with clear, weighted paper to protect it when I'm not working on it. No where else. So by the time I caught it, there was a puddle of water on the paper, which had leached through to the canvas and on the floor beneath the piece. All told, the pool of water was about the size of my fist. And it was all in one ugly spot on my canvas. There was a small amount of damage to the background in the top middle of the canvas, perhaps the size of a half dollar. Those who have seen it have said that it isn't at all visible to them, but I can clearly see where the paint has been altered. I was so upset, I cried. Angry, frustrated tears. After all this time, when things finally seemed to be falling into place this had to happen. And it sucked.

But most unusually for me, I didn't wallow in my agitation. After my hissy fit I put the piece away and decided that I'd repair the damage when I wasn't so upset and I actually let it go. And the very next day, I went back to work and right off the bat, what I had planned for that day didn't work out, again. Things were going so horribly and I thought to myself, "Maybe this is a sign that I should be in another line of work. I can't seem finish a piece without a major struggle, the elements are now conspiring against me, so maybe I should quit." But instead, I tried something new. Something I didn't want to do, something I thought I wouldn't like. And you know what? It was perfect. I groused about how things were going the entire time I was working and yet it was exactly what had been missing from this piece for months. And when I had finished, even I could see that this was absolutely right. It's lovely and I couldn't be happier. And it worked out so well, in fact, that I haven't once looked at the damage I swore only three days ago had ruined this piece for good. I haven't noticed it, and thus might not even attempt to fix it. And now the piece is close to being finished. And then I can move on to the next piece and with it, all the beautiful torture that creating art entails.